“Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction and certainly not in isolation.”

-      J. Krishnamurti, Indian Philosopher

We are all familiar with the step-mother in the fairytale “Snow White,” as well as her infamous line, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?” Of course, she was looking for affirmation that she was, in fact, the fairest in all the land.  Imagine using a mirror, not to gaze adoringly at your own image, but instead to see how other people see you and how your actions impact other people.  Imagine this mirror as a safe space that mimics the real world, but as it is only a reflection, offers the opportunity to explore actions and reactions.  Such a mirror would allow you the opportunity to hone your interpersonal skills for a more beneficial experience in life. 

Group therapy is the closest thing you will ever get to such a mirror.  A microcosm of the world, existing in a safe space and for the purpose of improvement, belonging, relating, instilling hope, and yes, even relief.  United in a common goal (each person working toward the change he/she wants) and a commitment to confidentiality, group therapy offers a place to be known and accepted. Through sharing, members find relief from pain, hurt, shame, and stress.  Importantly, members also find a greater understanding of themselves through interaction and feedback. 

Participating in a group offers a mirror members can peer into and explore their world, which leads to the development of socialization techniques, increases self-confidence, and enhances personal growth. Through observation, imitation, and even trial and error, group members have the opportunity to grow, examine themselves, and learn to avoid destructive behaviors. 

An additional benefit of group therapy is that it allows the group facilitator to observe you in real-time as you experiment with the mirror.  As group sessions are under the leadership of a trained therapist, the therapist has the opportunity to observe interactions in a dynamic and interpersonal setting to hopefully offer valuable insight and feedback. 

Mirrors are an invaluable part of our lives used to check if our hair is in place, if the broccoli from lunch has lodged in our teeth, or even to check that our clothes match and we look sharp.  We spend a significant amount of time checking ourselves in the mirror.  Can you imagine if the mirror also revealed how we relate to others, how other people truly saw us?  Group therapy is a tool that offers an opportunity to experience this reflection. The therapy group provides a space for each group member to explore how their reaction to what he/she is feeling on the inside is experienced by other members.  So, instead of asking, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?” In group therapy you might ask, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. How am I feeling and how are my actions being accepted by all?” 

Jeff Grossman currently offers group therapysessions in Brentwood, Tennessee at Sage Hill Counseling.